So...Good News! I finished my first draft of my first chapter. It's probably close to one of the crappiest pieces of academic work I have ever turned it...but, it's a start AND a start is better than nothing. Plus that start took me 22 hours to complete--22 hours to write 15 pages...yep, less than one poorly written, crappily composed page per hour. BUT, it is a full draft of the first chapter of my dissertation, and that is huge. Some people never even get that far and they spend far more than 22 hours one it. So, all in all, good news!
Also, another professor has agreed to adopt me for dissertation. He stated it was because I won't "make him dig trenches". I sure hope not, because that will mean this process is even more stressful than I am planning for.
Also, I am winding down my hours in psychological assessment, which is perfect considering the level of burnout I'm experiencing from report writing and vicarious trauma experiences.
Let's hope I can continue to just barely make it for another year and through internship and I will have made it. It feels weird to think I'm on the other side of halfway at this point. I'm past half, getting closer to done and I'm not sure to dread it or welcome it.
A mother of three girls and a boy (between the ages of 1 and 5) trying to navigate the competing worlds of relatively new mommyhood and a doctoral program simultaneously...her journey, lessons learned, and support to all types of motherhood struggling to find their ways and make the best life for their children....please read, comment, and discuss!
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Thursday, April 28, 2016
Friday, April 8, 2016
I'm a Dissertation Orphan...and don't really care
So...for those of you who don't know--I am officially a doctoral candidate. This means I have passed all my comprehensive exams of knowledge and have been deemed able to move forward to the dissertation process.
Exciting and terrifying at the same time. This process is big. Really big in my case, because as usual, I'm being an over achiever and hoping to complete a mixed methods project (crunching both number data and interview data). One would hope to have support in navigating this process--the first big girl research adventure--but it hasn't really worked out that way.
My advisor and chair of my dissertation (the one who has supposed to help navigate) has received a job offer too good to give up and will be leaving this summer.
I should be upset and worried, I should be throwing a fit. But, I can't seem to get myself that worked up about it. Perhaps it's because I am not as far along in the proposal process (the first draft of my study in which I complete the review of prior studies and get down to the nuts and bolts of my study) or maybe it's that my program has lacked in support throughout so it's not that suprising. I think the biggest part though is I don't have the energy to be concerned about it. In fact, I've known for weeks now and I have yet to reach out to other professors to obtain a new dissertation chair. I've been to caught up in the day to day, in the countless psychological assessment reports I'm required to write (each one takes 12-15 hours to complete), the classes I have to keep up, the four kids at home that I just can't even begin to think about my dissertation as a whole, much less care who's supposed to be supporting me with it.
My plan for this? My last ditch effort to finish my doctoral program on time (bc if my proposal is not successfully defended in early Fall 2016, I will be unable to apply for the following years internship) is to ask my husband for a weekend at the end of April to write. My goal is to have chapter one (of three) complete by the end of that weekend. Is it possible? yes. Likely? not really. And as for no longer being an orphan? Per the rules of the school, I need somebody. So, I will set up meetings and try to beg someone to care...hopefully more than I do at this moment.
Exciting and terrifying at the same time. This process is big. Really big in my case, because as usual, I'm being an over achiever and hoping to complete a mixed methods project (crunching both number data and interview data). One would hope to have support in navigating this process--the first big girl research adventure--but it hasn't really worked out that way.
My advisor and chair of my dissertation (the one who has supposed to help navigate) has received a job offer too good to give up and will be leaving this summer.
I should be upset and worried, I should be throwing a fit. But, I can't seem to get myself that worked up about it. Perhaps it's because I am not as far along in the proposal process (the first draft of my study in which I complete the review of prior studies and get down to the nuts and bolts of my study) or maybe it's that my program has lacked in support throughout so it's not that suprising. I think the biggest part though is I don't have the energy to be concerned about it. In fact, I've known for weeks now and I have yet to reach out to other professors to obtain a new dissertation chair. I've been to caught up in the day to day, in the countless psychological assessment reports I'm required to write (each one takes 12-15 hours to complete), the classes I have to keep up, the four kids at home that I just can't even begin to think about my dissertation as a whole, much less care who's supposed to be supporting me with it.
My plan for this? My last ditch effort to finish my doctoral program on time (bc if my proposal is not successfully defended in early Fall 2016, I will be unable to apply for the following years internship) is to ask my husband for a weekend at the end of April to write. My goal is to have chapter one (of three) complete by the end of that weekend. Is it possible? yes. Likely? not really. And as for no longer being an orphan? Per the rules of the school, I need somebody. So, I will set up meetings and try to beg someone to care...hopefully more than I do at this moment.
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