5 Things I Have To Remind Myself To Do Daily (and you should too!)

A couple of days ago, I was walking back how from the playground, pulling all three girls behind me in the wagon.  It was POURING down rain, we had a mile and a half walk, and none of them were crying--the baby was actually sleeping!  and the two older girls were laughing and singing "if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops" and catching rain on their tongues.  It was incredible and I had a few moments where I felt like supermom...which was quickly erased when I arrived home, attempted to take a photo of their ridiculously rain soaked faces, and found my phone had conveniently popped out of the backpack on the back of the wagon and was now, likely, lying in a quickly growing puddle.  So much for a blog post on how I was supermom, and how you could be too!  Instead, this is a post on how to manage those ups and downs of mommyhood (and graduate studies) that can make your stomach turn quicker than a roller coaster and make you honestly question your sanity.

1.)  Embrace and enjoy any moments you DO feel like supermom.  Because, you are a supermom...every day you do something for your children that no one NO ONE else can.  You put them before yourself, you give up small moments of privacy that everyone else takes for granted, you give your kids your last bite of something you actually enjoyed eating or make something you dislike because they love it, the list can go one and on.  So when you are doing everything right and feeling like the day is golden (no screaming, they are all asleep at once, or you manage to walk a mile and a half in the pouring rain while keeping them smiling) hold on to that feeling and know that you are amazing!

2.) BUT (yes, there is a but), don't let those moments overshadow all the other moments of sacrifice and love you provide.  Don't let the everyday moments become unimportant or "not good enough".  Those moments are the ones that really matter to your children.  Those sacrifices described above, the fact you cuddle with them every night before bed, or take the time to read them their favorite book for the fifth time...that matters more to them than getting through a grocery run without whining.  The everyday moment...the just being there...those matter the most.  They may not make you feel like a supermom but they make you a mom.  And that is way more important than being a supermom!

3.)  Always know that the peace doesn't last indeinitely.  That quiet is the quiet before a storm.  After every moment of supermommyhood and every quiet moment of the day, there will be an equally loud moment of baby screaming, toddlers fighting, kids whining, teens yelling, toys being banged loudly, "I hate you's", "Why's", and tattling.  Remember that this too will pass and you will have further moments of supermommy grace and strength and more quiet moments of reading and cuddling.  Know that when it comes to the roller coaster of mommyhood, there are ups and downs, but the roller coaster stays on it's path and eventually, yes 18-20 years later eventually, steadies and slows (and then you'll miss the ride!)

4.)  Learn to just be, with your kids, with your schoolwork, with your husband, with your friends, with yourself.  With technology this has become increasingly difficult.  It's so easy to fit in an email for school or work while your kids are playing quietly (enough) in the next room.  Or to run to the aid of a crying child when you are supposed to be working from home, I mean you can calm them down quicker than Dad or Grandma, right?  Why take a few minutes to reflect on your blessings or to take a longer shower when you can squeeze in another chapter or complete another load of laundry.  And, let's be honest, it's nearly impossible to ignore your cell phone buzzing as your squeezing in a quick monthly lunch with friends...it could be a really important Facebook update after all!  STOP.  Take a moment.  Just be with who ever or whatever you are with at that time.  Take 5 minutes to just play with your kids, take 10 minutes to rock the baby before putting her down (how much reading do you get done when she's screaming anyways.)  Lock the bathroom door and take a long shower when someone else has the kids or while they are safely in their cribs playing or napping.  Challenge yourself to just be focused on one thing at a time.  Even consider, gasp, turning your cell phone off or limiting the amount of times you check your email or Facebook or open the internet browser.  Challenge yourself to have a conversation with your husband or your friends in which you don't mention your children or your schoolwork AND you don't answer or even look at your phone, tablet, etc.  Save specific study time for school in which you have no other duty or responsibility than to be a good student. 

5.)  Soak up the love.  While you're just being.  When you're a supermom.  When you make everyday little sacrifices.  When the kids are being pains in the a**es.  Count your blessings.  Soak up every I love you, bask in the glory that is an impromptu "I love you", nuzzle that sweet baby falling asleep on your shoulder.  Take it in and use it to built strength, fortitude, determination.  These little ones are why you are sacrificing.  This love is what you are trying to protect so enjoy it.  Just be in those moments and hold on to them.  Find the love in the arguments, the fact they run to you, the fact they cry for you, the fact that they want you more than anyone in the world and when they say they don't it's because they don't want to need you as much as they do.  Look into their faces, while they're awake, tell them you love them while looking in their eyes.  You'll see the love, you'll feel it.  And, if you aren't home that day, because of school, because of work; snuggle up with them, kiss their sleeping forehead, and soak in the trust, the love.

This is all a constant struggle for me.  How do you all handle the ups and downs of mommyhood?  What mantras do you use to keep yourself sane and your family running smoothly?