Well...it's time to be honest and admit that I did not stick to my schedule the first week. Yep, couldn't even make it one week adhering to my perfectly thought out schedule because LIFE HAPPENS. That's right, it happens regardless of whether we planned it to or not. It has a way of switching direction on you, spinning you around, and plopping you right back where you were so you can start all over again. It doesn't matter if you plan for it, sometimes it follows your rigid plans, more often it does not. And it's hard. It's so hard to try to plan to fit everything in just to have those plans tossed.
I made it to the gym just once last week (and that was only to climb for about half an hour). I was up more than I was asleep at least three nights last week (baby is teething, the oldest is having nightmares, and the middle has taken up a combination of whining and wailing in her sleep). Thankfully, my GA position will allow me to complete MUCH more homework than I had originally anticipated (I have already read two chapters and three articles this morning!) The one thing I did not adequately plan into my perfect schedule was time with my husband.
Unfortunately, it seems that as a priority, our marriage, our relationship in general, drops in priority coming in behind everything but myself. I know, I know...believe me, I intellectually know how important it is for he and I to be doing well, to be connected, to be "one" in parenting and all that jazz for not only our good but for the good of our children. And I know, again, I intellectually know, how important self care is. How a happy and healthy mommy is a happy and healthy family. How a counselor must be "withit" and together to be effective. I know, but I just can't help putting my children first, rushing to their aid, spending an extra few moments, opting to spend a family day during the weekend instead of going to study. I can't seem to help spending additional free moments on my studying, trying to fit in a paper here or reading there. I wish I could just ignore the housework...that would give me some extra time...but, if ignored, the laundry piles grow and grow, rooms begin to smell like dirty diapers, we run out of plates, and I manage to make cheese in lost bottles hidden under beds...so, clearly, ignoring the housework is not an option for the health and sanity of my family.
What I can do is to stop checking my email 15 times a day or logging into Facebook just as many. I can use my commute to just breathe and enjoy my coffee, instead of worrying about the evenings logistics for the girls (I can't really do anything at that point, anyways!) I can make it a point to have a worthwhile conversation with my husband before bed, instead of watching a mindless program or each retreating into our own areas of the house to read. Having to skim a paper before class the next day is better than not having truly connected with him at all in over 24 hours. I need to continually remind myself of what I intellectually know. I need to actively make my husband a priority. I need to actively make myself a priority. I need to identify and acknowledge what is sucking my time, my energy, my life that is not a necessity. And I need to limit those activities to further focus on my priorities because The Days Are Long, BUT The Years Are Short!
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